Stretching the team’s budget, Coach Mark St. Jean has been all over the planet searching for additions for the team. “I wanted pumpkin donut while in Alaska, is that too much to ask!!!” Coach Mark explained to a reporter. “We thought he said ‘slumming ho-…well you get my point, so we rejected the expense!” co-owner Zuba later clarified. Coach Mark was still bitter at the eventual award winning coach of the year, Jim Miller, who came in and swooped the award from St. Jean. “I offered to give it to him, I truly felt bad, but the better man won, I can’t deny that”, co-owner and Elite Coach Miller explained to Ed Warner from ESPN. St. Jean may not have won the award, but he got his donut, and the team got what they needed. Coming into the season, the Fireants CT minor team was flying high off a national Tier II championship. That victory gave them an automatic bid into the league’s new Tier I format, which raised the stakes. In addition, the league schedule was jamboree format, which means more games in a weekend, which means the team needed to get players, both for numbers and talent. “I think clear after I eat a donut”, Coach said, “and as a result we landed a new goaltender and two fantastic players”.
Coach was referring to goaltender Will Botelho, who replaced last year’s goaltender Matt Domaingue. “I may not be a tall guy, but I have big feet, and I can fill these huge shoes Matty left behind”, Will said of joining the team. “In the off-season, I went to a Spidy-Expo, where we all dressed up like my hero. We climbed walls, did splits, and caught bugs. I am ready to play!” Matt, who was a key part to the team’s victory, had to take the season off to travel to Africa to make clay pigeons. “It was my dream, I had to jump off my bed and fly!” Matt said. Matty D may have taken a few too many to the head last season, but we with him the best of luck.
The team also recruited one new player, and one returning player. Fireants forward Joseph Lambert moves from the Long Island Fireants to the Connecticut Fireants. “I played with dirt in Connecticut over the summer, I felt a connection” Lambert said. The truth is there is a strong connection between Lambert and CT Fireants forward David Joseph, but we will leave that one alone. The CT Fireants also signed their final player, defenseman Tyler Isaacs, who last year played for the New York Terror. After failing his dental exam, Tyler was forced to schedule a deep cleaning as a pre-requisite to joining the team. “I was so embarrassed, showing up to tryouts with dirty gums!” Isaacs explained. He was a champion, and toughened through the tryout to claim the last spot for the 2016-2017 team.
As the team gets ready for the season, co-owner Ryan Lair worked with Coach St. Jean and President Elect Donald Trump on a training diet. “NO MORE OREOS” Lair yelled to the team. This could be in response to the 270 calories per oreo that was haunting the team, or the fact that Nabisco moved their plant to Mexico. Either way, this was a huge step in getting the team in shape for the season.
The CT Fireants Minor team open up the 2016-2017 season Saturday December 10th vs. the Long Island Bulldogs, which opens up a 6-game jamboree weekend. Stay tuned for more details!!!